Breathing Space Read online

  Unable to speak, I nodded.

  She was looking back down at her desk. “All your luggage needs to be ready for stowage by seventeen hundred hours and I can bring the liftoff window forward to 20.47 without too much trouble – it’s only ferrying supplies. Are you solid with that?”

  I slumped back into the seat, weak with relief. Despite her belief that I was tripping over some imaginary event horizon, Diana still came through for me. And I realised that for every Andy Bulstrode, Logan Beck and George, during my time on Restormel there’d been the likes of Diana, David, Chris, Peter, poor Constanza and Ralph, Axil— “Before I get caught up in packing, can I swing by and say goodbye to Axil?” It was basic courtesy to run this by Diana – after all she was his boss.

  “He’s not here—ˮ Her com chimed and instead of flipping the call into Pending mode, as I’d expected, she immediately answered it on her eardrop.

  Axil’s booming voice rang out, easily heard though Diana hadn’t got her ʼdrop on speaker. “We’re back! We’ll be wi’ yer in ten. Time fer yer to round up our girlie. T’went sweeter’n we planned, though he was madder’n—ˮ

  I winced in sympathy. Wouldn’t want a chat with Axil on my eardrop when nursing a hangover headache…

  “She’s here with me right this minute, Axil,” Diana broke in, clearly flustered.

  “Yer see? T’was meant ter be!”

  “Sit down, Elizabeth. Have another cup of coffee. Axil will be here in a nanosec and he’d be zilched if you left without seeing him for the last time.”

  I blinked, winded by Diana’s word choice.

  Once you get to Earth, you won’t be returning anytime soon. If ever. So it’s likely you’ll never see any of these people again. Obviously!

  Jessica’s scorn faded into the furniture as that realisation crashed through me. While I’d been planning to leave Restormel – I hadn’t figured on going so far, or without having the chance to say my farewells in a proper fashion. Thanks to my scuzzy brother and his latest stunt, all my plans were blown to the outer edges of the galaxy. I rubbed my eyes.

  In a life crammed with too many botched efforts and major mistakes, I, once again, returned to my greatest regret of all. Why, oh why didn’t I kill Eddy when I had the chance?

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  It was just as well that Procurement always served the best coffee in Restormel, because I was craving the comfort of something dark and strong to drink. Though truth to tell, it was a shock to find how much I’d rather it was a glass of fortified wine.

  “Have you packed plenty of warm clothing for Earth? I hear it’s very cold there. It will be a novelty for you to wear civvies, won’t it? I can’t recall the last time I saw you out of uniform,” said Diana.

  “Um. I haven’t thought ahead that much.”

  “Perhaps you’d better dock at the shopping mall, then. Hawking won’t have much of anything to offer after those beasts trashed the place.” She topped up my cup.

  I sighed. I hated shopping.

  Diana stood up, seeming tense.

  “I should let you get on.” I emptied my coffee cup in a couple of large swallows and reluctantly stood. “And I’ve a mountain of chores to get through before…”

  “Oh, don’t go! Axil will be distraught not to see you.”

  I sat back down. Saying good-bye is way too hard.

  “Ah! Here they are now!” Diana’s relief lit up her face as the door slid open.

  Axil burst into the office, filling the room with his flyer-sized personality almost as much as his huge frame. “Di. Boss. We was bustin’ our guts ter get here in time. We don’ want yer ter up an’ leave the P’s, but can’ say as I blame yer. Tha’ was a sorry ol’ business ʼbout yer man an’ no mistake. So…”

  He stood aside and behind him was Peter holding the arm of a man. A rangy figure walking with a slight limp, his face covered by a prisoner hood. For an unreal moment my heart thumped in hope, then eased down again. Whoever he was, he wasn’t Eddy. Too slim and tall. So he wasn’t Norby, either, who resembled an evil gnome.

  But he did look familiar… My brain was still playing catch-up when Chris hauled the hood off.

  I stumbled back against Diana’s desk, knocking my coffee cup to the floor, my legs refusing to keep the rest of me upright. My breath hitched as I stared at him. After all this time – here he was. The years had been kind to him. He didn’t look so different from the beautiful man who’d rescued us know-nothings from Basement Level at Hawking a lifetime ago. I couldn’t believe he was actually here.

  “Wynn?” I whispered. “Is it really you?”

  His Earth-blue eyes blazed with fury. “Well I’m hardly a prodding holo, am I? Though being hauled off Ceres like some crim makes me wish I was!”

  I turned to Axil, Peter and Chris. “What’s going on?”

  They exchanged looks, before Peter cleared his throat. “My idea, Chief. We were spaced when you resigned, though can’t say as I blamed you—”

  Chris broke in, “We hear you crying out in your sleep. We see you beat yourself near senseless on that demon-damned BalanceJoust. You work till you’re near dropping. Last time you properly smiled was when you was with… you know.”

  No one ever mentions Tomas by name, these days. Scaldingly aware of Wynn just three paces away, I wanted this conversation over. “And what does this have to do with Wynn— Mr Wynn?”

  Chris shifted. “We figured that – well… you might reconsider your decision to leave if you had the man you’d never stopped loving by your side. So we decided to retrieve him for you.ˮ

  I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

  “You people are unbelievable!” Wynn’s cold contempt was more withering than if he’d thrown furniture and cursed up a storm, which he was more than entitled to do. “The P’s Princess is stomping around the place, spoilt and miserable. And that gives you the right to swoop down and kidnap some hapless ex-lover on the offchance it’ll cheer her up?”

  I wanted to hide under the table.

  Eileen, who’d escorted me down to Procurement, now joined in. “You bilge-brained gaper!” she yelled in Chris’s face. “I told you it was a putrid notion! I said you should forget it. That’ll it’ll do nothing but bring shame down on the Chief’s head. And what jer do? You lie about where you’re headed and go off and do it, anyway!”

  Wynn’s eyes were splinters of ice as he turned on me. “Journo babble has it that your outfit has gotten a personality upload since you took over…”

  You’ve picked up a slight Ceran twang. Nothing so thick-tongued as the natives and it suits you.

  “It seems they’re wrong about that, like everything else. Cos this caper proves you’re all a bunch of thugs who grab what you want, never mind the cost to the rest’ve us who have the pustular luck to find ourselves in your way.” His cold rage left me shaking, because I couldn’t think of a single thing to say other than…

  “I’m so sorry! You’re right. It’s…” I tried again, “Things’ve been tough recently – what with Hawking. And sometimes people act in odd ways. After—”

  “Stop that right now! Your sad-eyed act won’t work on me this time around. Been there before, remember?” His bitterness sliced my soul. “It cost me my legs!”

  I bit my lip, my voice cracking, “I’m sorry. We’ll arrange for you to be returned. First class. I-I tried to pay for your leg regen treatment, when I learned about it and your complications…” And you sent back the creds with my message tab all smashed. “Maybe you’ll consider allowing me to reimburse you, now.”

  He stared at me like I’d crawled out of his bottom. “I’ll take the ticket back to Ceres, soon as you can manage it. The leg treatment payment? Not a notion what you’re babbling about. And as for you claiming not to know anything about this caper – if it’s the case, then they’re out’ve control and it’s just as well you’re stepping down!”

  I flinched. He’s right…

  “S’nuff!” rumbled Axil. “We get t
hat yer steamin’. Don’ you go takin’ it out onna one bod inna room who had nuthin’ ter do with the whole business.”

  I’d seen battle-hardened vets give ground to Axil. He’s one scary bloke when he gets that look on his face, but Wynn didn’t back down by a micron. “She got you wrapped round her little finger an’ all, has she?”

  Axil leaned over Wynn. “No one wraps me anywhere, Goldilocks. An’ I’m here ter tell yer that gettin’ yer legs chopped off by the General was nuthin’ to the stunts he pulled wiv her.” Axil jerked his head in my direction, his voice dropping into threat mode, “An’ as fer yer crack ʼbout spoilt P’s’ Princess – we’re all cred-grabbin’ greedy bastards. Wouldn’t be here if we wasn’t. But we’d all cut off our fightin’ arm if it’d get her ter stay. Cos she slaves fer every las’ one’ve us.”

  “Says the man who hasn’t had to grow back his legs!”

  “Nah. I haven’t as it happens.” Axil then added, “Though I growed back this foot… an’ this here hand. Broke me back an’ hadda learn to walk all over ʼgain. Growed back a lung an’ ribs. Busted my collar bone, an’ this here other leg…” He jabbed Wynn with a thick finger. “So don’ start whinin’ ʼbout yer legs. Not here. Not wiv us lot. Cos we ain’t impressed.”

  “I’m not staying as Chief, anyhow. I gotta go after Eddy,” I said, suddenly realising that these three must be the only people on Restormel who didn’t know what went down in the Crypt earlier today. Trying not to look at Wynn, who had settled down in one of the chairs, crossing one leg over the other – a gesture that tugged at my memory far more than I wanted – I plunged into the story of my encounter with Eddy through the pilot.

  Axil cursed – a stream of vile words that were extreme even for him. And it was a measure of his distress that he didn’t immediately turn to Diana in cringe-mode and stutter an apology.

  “Controlbot. Tha’s what the sorry prodder had stuck in his skull. Way back, some’ve ours were vac-brained ʼnuff to step up for a pile’ve creds an’ have one’ve ʼem stuffed in their heads.”

  What? “Let me guess – Eddy was here when they were messing with this vile tech,” my voice cracked. I’d hoped the wretched pilot had the shoddy luck to be the only one who had endured having his brain wired up to my brother’s hideous whims. But of course, there’d be more hapless victims. This was Eddy, after all.

  Axil nodded, his expression grim.

  “So when Florian and Andy claim her drinking and overwork are zilching her judgement, they’re just spinning some wordwind?” asked Diana.

  “Oh, aye. Starsearcher knows ‘bout the whole mess’ve ʼsperiments, right ʼnuff. He’d be payin’ for ‘em,” Axil said.

  I waved away Diana’s apologies for ever doubting me, and continued with the sorry tale, watching Wynn’s reactions.

  He affected boredom, until Diana referred to my journey. “You’re off to Earth? When?”

  “Shove yer fist innit, Goldilocks! This here’s P’s business. Nuthin’ ter do wiv yer,” growled Axil.

  “This evening,” I answered, relieved that Wynn had calmed down. “Though I’d appreciate you keep that info tween these four walls.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Oh here we go. Typical merc paranoia! Here’s an info-nugget for free – no one’s all that interested in your petty goings-on.”

  “Right now there’s a journo feeding frenzy as to the Chief’s plans. We’ve caught several bods trying to sneak onto Restormel in the past day. And two of them tried bribing the guards who caught them for any info on her. They offered a year’s credstack for a pic,” said Diana.

  His expression shifted, clearly surprised, as he flicked a glance in my direction.

  Having him this close was setting free far too memories I’d sweated blood to try and forget. I wanted him gone. I stood up and turned to Diana. “Can you please arrange priority transport for Mr Wynn to Ceres? And order him a meal?” The Procurement department had their own restaurant that served the best food on the site, next to my own dining room.

  I turned to Peter, my tone a lot colder, “While Mr Wynn is waiting for his passage home, arrange for him to stay in the VIP suite and organise maximum protection for him.” Given his short-fused attitude towards mercs in general and the P’s in particular, he’d better stay put until they get him safely loaded onto a shuttle.

  “Aye, aye Chief!” Peter’s snappy salute made me want to smack his face very hard.

  “You – all of you – just be glad I’m leaving today!” I lowered my voice, struggling for control. I prided myself on not losing my temper. Having watched Norman use his rages to cow his subordinates and loved ones, I knew what a shoddy trick it was. And besides, it would merely confirm Wynn’s worst prejudices. “Because this stunt crosses so many lines, I don’t know where to begin!”

  Though watching all three proud men shuffling like naughty schoolboys, muttering their apologies wasn’t much fun. Not with Wynn openly grinning at their discomfort.

  I pinched the bridge of my nose, aware a major headache was gearing up to make an appearance when I simply didn’t have time for one. “Right. Eileen, could you arrange a small travelling escort as far as Hawking for me? Three volunteers only, please.”

  She sighed. “I’ve already got a list of forty-seven people who have asked to be especially considered for the honour of escorting you on your mission, Chief.”

  “I’d like to be your Watch Commander for this mission, please.” I winced at the pleading note in Peter’s voice. He’d been with me right from the start of my leadership, along with Chris and they’d been solidly loyal all the way through.

  “I’m not coming back for a while.” If at all. “Carmen will toss my head out’ve the handiest airlock if I let you come along – the baby’s due in seven weeks. Stay home. Look after her and your family.”

  He nodded, blank-faced.

  Axil opened his mouth, but I beat him to it. “Nope. Who’d run the stock stacks if you were gone? You’ve important responsibilities here…” Like looking after Diana and her youngsters.

  Axil nodded, clearly catching my unspoken reminder. Then wrapped me in his huge arms for a rib-cracking hug, before stepping back. “Look after yersel’ lass. An’ I’m truly sorry ʼbout that.” He jerked his head towards Wynn. “Yer right. Goin’ back mostly don’ work. Reckon he ain’ fit ter lick yer boots, anyhow. Though try fer some happiness sometime soon – don’ know many folk who’re owed it more.”

  Diana wrung her hands. “What’re we going to do without you? I truly didn’t think you’d go through with this once Axil returned and… I c-can’t do this without having you here.”

  I put an arm around her. “You really can. You’re so much better than you think you are. And you’ve a solid team around you, these days.”

  Axil moved to Diana’s other side, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

  “Permission to accompany you to Earth, Chief.” Eileen stepped forward.

  I glanced across at Chris, before turning back to her. “Sure about this? I’m not denying I could really use someone so handy, but we’re likely to be gone a while.”

  “I know I’ve fully fouled up, here,” Chris added. “I’d also like to be considered as part of your Earth escort.”

  “I want to come along, too.” Wynn stood up.

  What! “To Hawking?”

  He shook his head, his blond hair catching the light. “No. I want to go to Earth.”

  “Absolutely not!” I can’t spend so much time alongside him.

  “I’m not asking, Lizzy. What with one thing and another, I reckon you owe me that much.”

  “Owe you?” I managed to keep my voice steady.

  “After your father had my legs chopped off and refused to grow them back unless I signed a Contract promising never to see you again – one of the stumps got infected. The leg didn’t grow back right and has always given problems.” His eyes were almost as icy as his voice. “Makes it difficult to do farm work.”

  “Surely yo
u’re settled on Ceres and you clearly don’t need the creds.”

  Wynn’s laugh wasn’t pleasant. “Oh yeah – the credstack Norman promised if I never crossed your path again. Well… let’s see – my passage back to Ceres took a chunk. My nursing and extra medication needed to fight the infection was over and above the basic cost of regenning the legs. Apparently. So I arrived back on the planet with only enough to see me through the first winter.”

  I’ll give you such a kicking when we meet up in Hell, Father! “So why d’you refuse the pack of creds I sent you?”

  He shrugged. “Don’t know what you’re talking about. I never got any package from you.”

  Well, someone did. Someone who refused the creds on your behalf. “Thought you were settled with a farmgirl. We’ll be gone a long time.”

  “I… it’s not worked out. I was gonna leave her, anyhow.” His face was bleakly sad. “Don’t reckon I’m the settling kind, as it happens.”

  Yet you asked me to marry you. Do you ever recall that moment? I shut my eyes, tired of trying to hold back the memories threatening to cascade through me and buckle my defences. I needed this man sharing my air for the coming weeks like I needed a spacewalk in the nude.

  “He can’t come along. The numbers don’t add up,” said Chris.

  “Only way it’d work is if he joined the security detail and he can’t do that. He’s no fighter,” Eileen added, eyeing him like he was a slab of spoiled meat.

  “He’s better in a scrap than you’d think for a civvy,” I said, recalling when he stabbed Helmethead to save my life. “But he’s not trained, so if it came to a firefight or facing someone who knows what they’re doing, he’ll be a liability.”

  “Unless he’s alongside you in your suite and the security detail protect both of you,” said Diana. “Let’s face it, news that you’re leaving for Earth is going to seep out sooner rather than later. Any assassin will be looking for an unaccompanied woman with her security escort, not a couple. It could keep you safer.”